Now Not Later

I don't think I ever said "later" more than when I became a mom.  Perhaps it was the twenty-million questions a day on what are we doing, can we do this and go there - that "later" became a go-to response.  That was a mistake.    After more than twenty years of parenting I have learnt a few things and responding "later" should be only after I have actually thought about - when is later?

Danny is gone and looking back "later" is like a dirty word.  Only to be uttered in secret.  How dare we have ever said "later"!  Later we'll go here and later we'll go there.  Later we'll go on that date and later we'll talk about this-and-that.  What if I had known that "later" would have never come.  How would I have handled that?  I would have gone.  I would have talked.  I would have  - lived!

With society today and the "busyness" that we all seem to pride ourselves in.  Because you're only successful if you're busy.  Right?  You see the mom you haven't seen for so long in the market and ask how she is and her response is - "Oh, super busy, you know."  As if that is somehow self-explanatory as to what a great life she is living.   When really, we are "busy" with fillers - multiple sports classes for our kids (that they may or may not even like), PTA and bake sales.  There is nothing wrong with helping out, of course.  But is it really helping out or is it filling the day so as-not-to live an authentic life?  Social media is notorious for making these seem busy and fulfilled when in fact, it's all fake.

We should be nothing if not authentic.  Be real and not participate in a group-think-and-do attitude in our lives.  I believe talking together, turning off the TV and computers is key in this.  Do you and your family have a manifest?  What do you stand for?  What do you believe in?  Are you awake in your daily life?  Seriously.  What moves you?  Do you say yes to your kids, to your spouse and to yourself as often as possible?  How often do you say "later" or even "maybe", because maybe is really just a version of "later".   Are you living your very best life or are you waiting...for later.